San Juan, Puerto Rico

Okay listen up you little skanks, I’m about to break down my trip to La Isla Bonita and I have to do it before my adderall wears off I get busy with super important blogger things.

Our flight was dirt cheap. Roundtrip airfare was $250. Unfortunately that means we were on Spirit. And you know what that means… everybody assumes your Louis luggage is fake. Also it basically feels like your sitting on the worlds hardest park bench for hours.

The Airbnb:


We landed around 1:30 am and went straight to the Airbnb ($90 per night and worth it). It was on Isla Verde right on the beach. Who doesn’t love waking up to the sound of the ocean?

Okay so if you’ve read any of my other worthless and vague travel posts you’ll know that I’m not much of a planner. I’m not good at itineraries and I kinda just figure it out on the go. In fact, I’m go with the flow about everything. Luckily, the girl friend I was traveling with is super fucking hangry for such a petite little person easy going too. So we walked over to Bistro Cafe for breakfast (literally everyday). I recommend going. Their food is delicious and very inexpensive.

Bistro Cafe @bistrocafeislaverde
(Ave. Isla Verde Esq. Júpiter #29 Carolina, Puerto Rico 00913)

How I take my friend’s pics…

And how they take mine….

Okay — so the one thing we definitely knew we were going to do was get day passes at all the different beach front hotels. Which is really how we were able to keep the overall price down. Some of the hotels were crazy expensive. But the day pass $25 !! (More or less). So I’m terrible at math but I know that saving money per night equals more draaaaanks lmao just get someone to buy them though wtf else are you squatting for?

San Juan Water and Beach Club Hotel
( 2 Calle Jose M. Tartak, Carolina, 00979, Puerto Rico)

Day pass $50 for 4 chairs. This was the most backwards ass policy. It was just the two of us!! But apparently they only rent out the beach lounge chairs in 4’s. Pero like, why? Regardless. The day pass gives you full access to the rooftop pool and the beach. Maybe other things too but it’s not like I’m asking the concierge where the gym is el bar? por favor! I’m pretty sure we ate. Burgers maybe… tequila definitely.

We ended meeting some locals at the rooftop and we all went to eat just next door at

(5803 Calle Tartak Cond. Racquet Club, Carolina, Puerto Rico 00979)

Okay — I highly recommend the churrasco. But then again, I would recommend the churrasco anywhere. So don’t listen to me and just order whatever you fucking want and keep your fork out of my plate. Totally worth going, great atmosphere. Regular mix of locals and tourists alike. So we linked up with some locals, was their name Jordan van der Sloot???? and scheduled to go ATV-ing the next day. Okay — I know what you’re thinking, risky move for two girls traveling alone. But I shared my active location with my sister in NYC and had her check in to make sure we weren’t abducted. Okay, I realize that the knowledge of getting abducted but powerless to do anything is not exactly helpful. But do you not read the above correctly?? We wanted to go ATVing safety and common sense be damned. Side note — these locals were super cool and friendly. One was a firefighter from the states that relocated down there.

Calabari Rainforest Adventure Park

Not much to be said here except that its soooo much fun and totally worth going. I definitely recommend driving your own and not sitting as a passenger.

After our little adventure me and my girlfriend (@leticiaapar ) did a quick shower/change and head over to old San Juan for dinner/drinks/sunset photo ops. Its actually way easier to get around than I thought. We never once had a long wait for an uber.

Must Sees:

La Puerta de La Bandera (redone) by Rosenda Álvarez:
(La Calle San Jose — around the corner from La Factoria)

El Paseo de las Sombrillas
(65-55 Calle Fortaleza)


La Factoria @lafactoriapr
(148 Calle San Sebastián, San Juan, 00901, Puerto Rico)

Door after door presents a new room with a new feel and major speak easy vibes. The drinks are delicious, I recommend the Lavender Mule.

But the truth is, the Puerto Rico I remember seeing at 17 (lively and bursting with people and things to see) just wasn’t there. Old San Juan during the week was actually a little dead (this was a Thursday night). So we called an uber and fucked off to

La Placita
( 179 Calle dos Hermanos, San Juan, 00907, Puerto Rico)

La Placita is fucking lit. Everyone is just outside and hopping from bar to bar. Medallas are gleaming about. Music is coming from everywhere. Okay — sounds overwhelming but I promise it’s not. Its actually some of the most fun we had the whole trip. If you skip going here, you definitely fucked up your trip. I cannot give you the names of the bars we stopped in. Because we bopped around like everyone else — as should you.

The following day we did the day pass for

El San Juan Hotel
(6063 Av. Isla Verde, Carolina, 00979, Puerto Rico)

We paid $25 and had access to the pool and beach. I feel like we may have spent a little too much time at the swim up bar. But I don’t really see the problem in that statement anyway.

We ended up watching the sunset from our spot right on Isla Verde.

We then commenced glow up procedures and made it out to Club 58 ( to dance into the wee hours of the morning. But don’t we rallied like champs in the morning no RAGERTS!! and made it back to El San Juan (again on a guest pass) to enjoy the last few hours of sun before our flight home.

All in all — worth going. Especially at current prices. Could we have done more taking sugar daddy applications, E-Mail for requirements ??? Sure. We wanted to go out and do one of the bioluminescent kayak tours (<– like that one), but we didn’t. But Puerto Rico has my heart. You can tell that they’re working hard to come up from tragedy. And they’re really getting there. With such beauty and such warm and welcoming locals, it really is la isla bonita. So I hope to go back in the not so far away future and see more of it.


2 thoughts on “San Juan, Puerto Rico

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